Myspace is a funny things. At least to me. Goverment, Religion and Myspace are the 3 things in this world that can and will start wars, lol.

But no...its just funny because some people can get so offended by a top 8 or something. Not that I do at all..whatever. Its just one big thing. Another thing, I guess, is friendship status. Because lets face it...you have all your good friends on there. Its like..a way to know about their l ives, say hi, email easier. So when you get totally deleted from their friends list, its a pretty good sign that friendship just died. Hey..sometimes its just easier to take the hint than actually face someone I guess.

Maybe thats because its the lame way out. What Im getting at here is this: I noticed I had one less friend today when I logged in, so I took a look. The missing person happened to be Justin. At first I was like....wow, lame. Then I kinda laughed. I guess we are offically done..like..for good..not even an aquaintanceship anymore. He took the lame way out there. He never could straight up tell me what was the problem. I hated that so much. I had been making efforts to call him and try to hang out..not many times..but you know...a few times in the past 3 weeks. Since he said he really missed hanging out with me and we really should hang ot outside or karaoke again. I then sent him a message the other night. I tried calling him. And I said "well..Ive tried calling you a few times. Phones work two ways. Theres my effort...I guess you never will put forth yours. Some things dont change. So I guess we arent hanging out? Hey, your call. But I ive up on you."

I guess that ticked himoff and he decided that was that. In a way...Im glad. I was asking God for it. I wanted to know if there was any purpose to even trying to stay in contact with Justin. And if not, then I just wanted to be done with him for good. I wanted a quick and painless ending. And I guess I got it. And thus, God has showed me Justin was brought into my life to teach me many a thing, and once I finally got it all, got everything I was meant to learn, he didnt need to be in myl ife anymore. Because after a while, all he did was bring me down, and God knew that was enough, and I think He saw that in fact, it all finally clicked, and answered me. So Justin is no longer in the picture. It doesnt mean I still wont think of him time and again. Or possibly still see him at karaoke. I dont plan on saying a thing to him. As if we didnt know eachother. Thats how it will be. And Im finally ok with that. I had a short freak out the other night over him. I missed him terribly and felt like runing back to him if you will. And I had a talk with God and He showed me thats not what needs to be done. Not to mention...we will both be at the wedding soon. Id like to say a thing or two to him still. But really what would be the point of it? We are already through with eachother. Its weird to think that basically we just..dont know eachother anymore. At one point, we were best friends, and could never see that being otherwise. But boy time changes things. Through seeing other people with the same problems, through having many a talks with Josh and him helping me see so many things i never saw, or wanted to see before, and through God..I think I can finally close the Justin chapter in my life. It might stay open just a bit longer. For discussion. Or I might just take a peek at or after the wedding. Then Im done. I dont need someone in my life who brings me down. Forget that.

He wasnt the one for me. He wasnt even a good friend. I knew from the first day we meet...which happened to be at Element...I knew from the first words spoken that God brought him in my life for a reason. For so long..before things started getting rocky..I thought he was suppose to be someone I was suppose to be with. In every way. Two weeks before we meet, I just prayed to God to bring a guy in my life that was this and that and had this quality, and even liked the rain, ha. Then two weeks later I met Justin, at youth group for God. I always thought that meant something more than it might have. That brings me to a quote in Mels blog it basically says, you need to ask the right questions to find the real answers you seek. And I guess I wasnt asking God what I really wanted, what I still really want. A good guy that I can be with, either the one Im suppose to marry, or someone who will impact my life positivly and not bring me down in the end. And I recently thought God again answered me. And he did..but he only answered part of that last request/prayer. Proving once again, you get what you ask for, usally nothing more or less. He hears you and will answer you if its worthy. Maybe even sometimes when its not just to say, Hey, Im God and I can make it happen even though in the end it wont be what you want. THrough that He teaches me. And I praise Him for that.

Other than that...I dont have much more to say. Im just trying to keep busy....slept almost the whole day so far. No one to hang with. And Im super bored. Just felt like updating after readin g the quote in Mels blog.

thanks Mel..for that. It made me think as well